I am seeing two therapists. One is general psyche and is a man. The other one is a sexual therapist and is a woman. I have been reading several books. I have two problems. Forgive me for using initials but I have younger contacts and I don’t want to offend them.
ED- Which I am treating with a prescription drug Levitra. I started on one 10mg and now I take two tablets. I am able to have intercourse and even with her on top with a somewhat adequate amount of success. The last time she said it was “the best I have felt in a long time.”
RE- This one is more difficult to treat. There are no drugs to help the problem. I just can’t seem to finish when we are together. I wind up masturbating myself to finish. I can’t seem to finish with her masturbating me.
With a previous GF, we both had been drinking and I managed to have a premature situation. I will spare you the details. She had been acting drunk earlier in the evening and then later sobered up for sex. I am not sure if it was the excitement of her being a bit tipsy that did it.
Now with the current GF, I can’t seem to finish with her. I have tried everything. Everything. Nothing seems to work.
I have tried not masturbating, going for 7 days without any sexual activity.
I switched from one to two Levitra tablets when making love.
She seems to be happy in our relationship.
I am frustrated and I am very jealous and fear that I am a freak in bed and fear that she will dump me for another man who is “normal.”
I thought about seeing an escort to see if the excitement of another woman could do the trick. I haven’t gone through with that idea. I am scared of contracting HPV which I have heard you can get even if I use a condom. Plus, it would be ironic if being so jealous of her, losing her to another man, that she remained true to me and I was the one who cheated on her.
So I have remained in this relationship for seven and a half months.
Every day she either tells me or texts me that she loves me.
My reaction is pain because I don’t believe that I deserve her. I feel like a loser. I feel ashamed of having ED and RE. I am jealous of the other lovers that my girlfriend has had and imagined how much better the sex must have been with her ex boyfriends than with me.
I feel as if I am an inadequate lover for my girlfriend. What should I do?
@ Smitty- My mother and one of my male friends advised me to get my life in order before starting a new relationship.
I left my ex wife and divorced her so that I could have a sex life.
I have needs. I am a man. Escorts carry disease and I need love in addition to sex. Banging different girls with hookers and one night stands won’t work for me.
And I can’t be chaste like a monk. I need a woman- a girlfriend- sex- love.
I have been masturbating since I was 12. I am 48 now. I have only made love with a limited number of women in my life. My current GF is only the second women that I have been with that I would even consider to have a sex life with. I feel like a freak because I can’t finish like a normal guy. I have to JO to end it.
I have had 4 women and my GF has had 6 men. I don’t count a one night stand with an ex GF in which two encounters I could not get it up. She counts one night stand in which a man couldn’t perform that she met at a club as one. Reworking the math, then it would be me 5 girls and her 6 men.

Answer:

obviously she loves you and wants to make it work, it is not an issue for her. it is more of an issue for YOU.. you could just relax and go about it the way you need to go about it, dont bother with escorts or whatever. what you need to do is just relax and go with how god made you, there’s probably guys out there that can’t perform or actually– i watched something where a guy had an inverted penis and his partner was with him for life, never consumated the marriage. the guy had an operation to have it come out, they are very happy and were very happy before that.. but who knows if it even works perfectly right, maybe he has to take pills too?! it’s just the point that, sexual performance probably matters less to a lot of women.. the intimacy is what gets them satisfied and excited. some women get picky about sexual performance or size but many do not even care.. most of the problems might come from YOU having an issue with it.. so it wold really be great to just relax.. for example, my boyfriend had 9 partners before me and he feels too inexperienced and inadequate for me bc of that. (I had 20.) that is never how i felt so i am just kind of to the point of ignoring it. its really just his issue, clearly is just HIS issue. bc i never thought like that. honestly its been kind of annoying sometimes
thats why its best not to obsess. the best situations are ones that keep a good head and energy about it, liek they say “positive outlooks.” youve got nothing to lose from it and it kind of benefits you. will definitely bring you more confidence in the sack too